The Floor Plan Follies: A Continental Guide to Architectural Bewilderment

The Great French Efficiency Revolution

Let us begin with what the French have brilliantly perfected: the art of democratic bathroom scheduling in the single-bathroom, three-bedroom property. Picture, if you will, a charming ski apartment in Saint-Gervais-les-Bains’ old quarter. Three generous bedrooms, original parquet flooring, soaring ceilings—and one supremely well-appointed bathroom that brings families together in the most wonderfully organised fashion.

“But surely,” I ventured to the estate agent, a supremely confident woman who clearly understood the genius of French domestic planning, “this requires considerable coordination?”

She beamed with the sort of pride usually reserved for discussing fine wine. “Mais oui, monsieur. It creates discipline and teaches respect for shared spaces. Very civilising.”

Indeed. Nothing quite instils proper time management like a well-orchestrated morning routine. It’s rather like a Swiss timepiece, but with more immediate consequences and considerably more character-building potential. Children learn punctuality, adults rediscover efficiency, and everyone develops a healthy appreciation for personal scheduling.

The Alpine Space Optimisation Genius

The true stroke of brilliance, however, reveals itself in the French Alps, where property prices per square metre have inspired developers to achieve something approaching architectural alchemy: the maximisation of sleeping capacity without the premium price tag of full bedrooms.

Enter the coin montagne—literally “mountain corner“—a concept so ingeniously French it could only have been conceived by minds that gave us the perfectly logical metric system. These cleverly designed sleeping alcoves tucked into every thoughtful nook represent the democratisation of Alpine accommodation, allowing more families to access premium locations at accessible prices.

“How many does it sleep?” I inquired about an exceptionally well-planned Courchevel property.

“Quatorze,” came the proud reply. Fourteen. A veritable triumph of inclusive hospitality.

The secret lies in the cabine—at 7-8 square metres, these compact sleeping solutions provide nearly the space of an official bedroom (which requires 9 square metres) while offering significant cost savings. It’s rather like having discovered the perfect balance between luxury and accessibility—a Swiss Army knife approach to accommodation that’s both practical and economical.

The Cosy Proximity Advantage

French ingenuity in optimising space does create excellent opportunities for intimité familiale. Take the thoughtfully designed three-bedroom apartment I viewed in Chamonix, where the master bedroom shares a wall with the teenager’s space—creating natural sound-sharing that keeps families wonderfully connected.

Consider the advantages: parents remain naturally attuned to their children’s well-being, teenagers develop consideration for others, and everyone maintains that reassuring sense of togetherness that separate wings in grand houses simply cannot provide. The efficient plasterboard construction ensures that no family member ever feels isolated or disconnected.

“Surely this promotes family bonding?” I suggested.

“Exactement!” the agent enthused. “No British-style emotional distance here!”

Quite literally fostering communication, as it transpired.

The Ensuite Efficiency Model

Perhaps most cleverly practical is the French approach to bathroom optimisation. Rather than the wasteful British tendency toward multiple WCs gathering dust, the French master suite bathroom serves as the household’s singular, well-appointed facility. This ensures maximum utilisation of plumbing investments while creating natural opportunities for family members to interact during their daily routines.

The bed positioning—with clear sightlines to the bathroom door—allows the occupant to efficiently monitor facility usage and provide helpful scheduling guidance. It’s rather like having a built-in traffic management system that prevents queuing and maximises throughput.